When will the mirror be my friend?

Let me say up front that I've got a cold and I'm writing under the influence of OTC drugs.
Thinks are going so well. I haven't thrown up in well over a week and aside from the cold I feel AMAZING. I'm loving the gym more and more each time I go. I even enjoy the days that I don't work with Jesse now. And I think I also really enjoy it when people comment on the amount of weight I have lost (there's not a day goes by that someone doesn't comment. It's alot of attention and even though it's positive attention and it's supposed to be a good thing it really can be uncomfortable at times). I don't always feel like I deserve it. I know it's crap and I do deserve it but there's this crappy voice in the back of my mind that say's NO YOU DON'T. It's not that I'm afraid that I'm going to blow it or ruin it in some way. I just find myself really uncomfortable with the whole thing.
There are signs of hope though. I have caught myself looking at myself in the mirror more and more (sometimes even with no clothes on as gross as that is. lol). I still hate the mirrors at the gym and want NO part of them.
I'm weighing in at 297lbs now, that's an unbelievable 140lbs down. It's been years since I've seen these numbers. And my final goal weight is only 60lbs away!
I'm in a wedding this weekend and went today to pick up my tux and had to exchange the pants for a smaller pair. I told the girl last month when she measured me that she was picking a waist that was to large but she informed me that the tape measure doesn't lie:(

City Chicks by Pat Foreman

I was given a signed copy of this book recently by a friend and I'm LOVING it!

I just learned that 1 chick and eat 84lbs of kitchen and yard was every year. Times 3 (we have 2 chickens and 1 duck) is: 252lbs of stuff that would go into a landfill. WOW! Now I just have to figure out a way for the chickens to get it and not my dogs.

Well off to more reading.

whole lota jiggle

Jesse gave me a tip on how to start running so I gave it a try today on the treadmill. I jog for the first 30seconds of each 5 minute block (jog for 30 sec then walk for 4 1/2 mins). I made a mistake right off the bat, I started off with my jog and the 30 sec. mark came around and I felt great so I just kept on going. I hit the 1 minute mark at 5.5 and then slowed down to 4.0. Then second round I jogged for 45 seconds and then I stuck to the 30 second recomended time. I did this for 5 rounds and then just walked for 15 more minutes. At one point I grabbed onto the heartrate bar and my heartrate was at 157 (that was after my 1minute jog). My heart was pounding and it felt GOOD! We'll see if I keep this up or not, it was a site to behold. My 315lb butt actually trying to get both feet off the ground at the same time (you see if both feet don't leave the ground at the same time it's just a fast walk. lol).

It actually gets better and better

I'm somewhat shocked how how different I feel since I'm off the meds. I can really tell a huge difference while at the gym. It's really nice to be able to work out until my body gives out (which still doesn't take long), instead of all that damn dizzyness crap.

I've been able to replace most of my gym clothes already, that is a great feeling. Jesse had me facing the mirror the other day doing shoulder presses and I was somewhat grossed out by how flabby and sloppy I was looking. So off to GoodWill I went and donated the last of my 4X and 3X tee shirts. I'm all 2X now:)
I can't remember if I mentioned that I bought a bike or not. One with a wide seat of course:))
I've taken it around the block a few times and it is a nice break and a chance for fresh air. I'm afraid to get to far from the house just yet in case I pop the tires and have to push it home. Sad but true!

great news

I went to see my Primary Care Doc today for a check up. I hadn't seen him since the surgery and was a bit excited for him to see my progress. He was really the one who was able to get me to admit that I needed the surgery and was not going to be able to loose the weight and keep it off on my own. So I was really excited for him to see that I had finally done something to help myself. Anyway, I made the appointment because I have been having shorts bouts of dizziness when I'm at the gym and I'm thinking that my blood pressure meds are a bit high for my weight now that I've lost 1oo plus lbs. Well it turns out that my heart rate is way down not my blood pressure. So he took me off all my meds. This is huge progress, I have been on 5 pills a day for several years and now I'm on ZERO pills a day. Although I now take 5 vitamins a day, but that is different. lol

Wii Fit is my new BFF!

123lbs down and all is well. Well, that's a big FAT lie: life is GREAT. I bought the Wii Fit the day it came out (May '08) and when I got it home and opened the box was VERY sad to read that I was well over the weight limit (117lbs over to be exact). It was just another hit to the fat man, just another thing in life where the fat man has to sit on the side line (or is it: another excuse for the fat man to sit on the side line). Well for the last year I've been able to sit on the couch and watch my family and friends play the game while I make excuses why I can't get on it (can't say out loud that I'm really THAT fat).
My first goal for myself after WLS was to be able to finally play the Wii Fit and last week I was able to get on the damn thing and not have it go crazy and shut down and reboot. It felt so wonderful to actually have it say Welcome! I was able to create a profile and have signed on almost everyday since. It even said my Wii Fit age is 3 years younger than my real age.
I'm still working out 4 days a week at the gym, 2 of those days with a personal trainer. I still have trouble believing how different I feel. There are times when I actually find myself dancing around I have so much energy that I can't stand still. I don't want to stand still and I have the energy to actually move around for long periods of time. The trainer is still whooping my ass but I feel great for the rest of the day (sore but great). If this is what 100lbs less feels like, what is 200lbs less going to feel like???

Stupid Questions?

I get lot's and lot's of comments now a days. I guess at my weight range I had to lose 100lbs before people (those who didn't know about the surgery) really start to notice. Here's the lamest one yet:
Saturday in the salon a lady came up to me and said how much different I look since she saw me last and just had to ask a few questions about it. I told her I had Gastric Bypass surgery at the end of April. She said she knew someone who had that done also but hers didn't go so well, she thought the lady had it done in a small town a couple of hours outside of the city where we live. This lady really just hit me the wrong way (like she was gossiping about the lady she knew) so I just went right in lieing mode. I told her I also had my surgery done at that town at the Vet college that is there. I told her they do an experimental surgery that is having HUGE success. I said that they take one of the stomach's from a cow, since they have 2 they don't even have to kill the cow. I said there's an enzyme in the cows stomach that process' food so fast that you don't absorb the calories from the food. She said that sound so cool, how do I feel? I said that I get alittle sick to my stomach every now and then but if I chew on raw grass (organic of course) it really seems to settle the nausea. She just kept going on and on about how cool it is.
I finally told her I'm totally full of shit and she was really embarrassed for falling for it.

100 lbs down

I weighed in yesterday and it was a VERY magic. I'm down 100lbs. I've gone from 4X shirts to 2x and my pants have gone from 50 inch waist to a 44 inch waist (although 46 are a bit more comfortable, ha ha). I haven't done a "measurement check", I thought I would wait until I'm down 200lbs before I add up those numbers.
I'm still going to the gym 4 days a week and working out with Jesse 2 of those days. He gives a new meaning to "rode hard and put away wet", I have a hard time walking to my car when he is done with me. My legs are shaky for days afterwards. And somehow he keeps me coming back for more. He hasn't yelled at me yet, for that I'm thankful.
I'm thinking my bout with throwing up has finally moved on, it's been a couple of weeks since I've thrown up. I do have bouts of nausea every now and then, but they don't last long and are more than worth it.

Oh Jesse

Well I'm down 90lbs and doing amazing! I joined a gym this week and have been 3 times already. When my partner and I went in on Sunday so he could add me to his membership (we have a few gay couple friends who go to the same gym so we knew they would let us join as a family) and told the trainer at the desk that we wanted to change my partners membership into a family membership. He looked us straight (no pun intended) in the eye and said if you can produce a marrige license then you can switch to a family membership. Well it only took me about 60 seconds to inform him that I knew his company policy better than he did and if he didn't wish to deal with us then please let someone else take his place. Of course he said that HE had no problem with us being a family and he would love to sell me a family membership now that he understood the policy. Bull Crap! Once he took my money and get me signed up he told me I got a free session with a personal trainer. I ask him if he could please hook me up with one who had some experience with Weight Loss Surgery clients. He said no problem that he knew the gym had about 15 clients who have had the LapBand. So we set up an apt for me the next day with Jesse.
I show up alittle early so I can spend alittle warm up time on the treadmill. "Jesse" comes over to get me right on time and suggest that we go set outside and get to know each other.
Alright, my first impression of Jesse is: cute and about 100lbs soaking wet. So we go outside and set on a bench and he starts his Q & A and is doing lots of writing. I tell him I'm 3 months out from Bariatric Surgery and I have a release from my surgeon. He tells me he is a marathon runner and that is a big interest of his as a trainer and wants to know if I'm trying to train for a marathon. I say "no way in hell, unless he wants to pay for me to get new knee's. 'Cause if this big ass trys to run my knee's will blow out pretty fast". He tells me he doesn't know much about Weight Loss Surgery (I really appreciate his honesty and that he didn't just try and fake his way thru this to get a client). We talk about this & that for abit and finally agree to give each other a try and just see how it goes. We spent the next hour together and did great together, although he did confess at the end that he was pretty nervous during the Cross-Fit training. He kept asking me if I felt like I was going to throw up or dizzy. I was VERY dizzy but never felt like I would throw up (he told me it was his job to clean it up if I did and he really didn't want to do that). It was very obvious that his average client was in much better shape than I am. He would always start out by saying "now drop fast to the floor and give me 20 push ups as fast as you can" and after I would do 5 he would chicken out and say "alright that was enough, stop and rest". I admit there's no way in Hell I could do 20 push ups but isn't it his job to try and make me? I think he knows a puker when he see's one! What ever the reason, I'm thankful he has a heart. ha ha
We ended out hour together without hateing each other (or at least I liked him) and he said he finds this surgery very interesting and wanted to work with me. He offered to split his normal hour sessions into 30 min. sessions and then just put me on a treadmill afterwards (since I can't do an hours worth of this cross-fit thing without stroking out). That was very nice of him and since he is $40 per hour I took him up on it. So I'm going to meet with him every Monday and Tuesday for a while and then I'll be on my own during the week.

sailing along

I'm down 80lbs and still just a sailing along. Took the kids to the mall tonight to see Transformers and then we had dinner in the food court. The kids had pizza and I ordered just a single meatball, 20 minutes later I'm in the bathroom throwing up. It was over pretty fast and then all was better and we were walking the mall. I usually grab a small salad from Subway and never have the "throwing up problem" with it. Lesson learned!
I've been walking pretty regularly and honestly feeling fantastic. I haven't felt this well in years. I have had a few times where my body can't seem to keep up with my mind. But I can certainly tell that I am not carrying as much weight around. My knee's and feet don't bother me near as much (used to be a daily thing).

Support Group

My girl Lucy (the standard poodle puppy) and I walked 4 miles this morning. It was a beautiful morning and we had a great time.
I just got home from my monthly "support group", I"m always so inspired by the folks there. The first hour of the group is for people who haven't had the surgery yet. I've written about this before but it's worth 'talking' about again. There's always the people who come in with their list of questions that end up talking about all the thing's their going to have to give up. You really get the feeling that their just wanting some validation in not having the surgery.
I totally get it, the surgery isn't for everyone. It's a HUGE step and not the right step for everyone. But these people have spent almost a year going thru many hoops (and in lot's of cases lot's of money) to get to this point and then want to back out.
I also understand this is a very scary surgery and in no way am I trying to be unsympathetic. It took me several years to get up the courage to follow thru with the surgery. I guess I just don't understand how you can set thru an hour of listening to the people who have had the surgery and how amazing their life is now and that their only regret is that they didn't do it sooner and still think it's not the right thing to do.
I do believe that if your not ready for the surgery then by no means should you do it.
Again, there are many paths to a healthier life and weight and this surgery is only one of the paths. It's a path not for everyone.

70lbs less of me

It's very hard to imagine that there's 70lbs less of me now. I can really feel it also. I'm still have a bit of trouble with eating meat (I've thrown up several times this past week trying to eat things my body just wasn't ready for). But I am hanging in there and I have zero regrets. I honestly feel much better now compared to before my surgery. I feel lighter! I'm back to singing and being goofy at work. I haven't been walking since I've gone back to work because I was afraid that if I used all my energy on my walk I wouldn't have any left for work. I'm ready now to get out in the neighborhood and walk, walk, walk.

And I was just bragging

I have been bragging all week long how good I felt and how I've had none to little nausea. I've even "cheated" a few times this past week. I sampled a small amount of peach dump cake and did great.
Last night I stopped by the store to get some light mayo so I could make some tuna salad (I live on tuna salad these days) and decided to try and bag of Hot and Spicy Pork Skins (they were passing them around at my last group meeting). Well I ate way to much of them and went to be with a terrible stomach ache. I had horrible dreams all night long (Hannibal Lecture was eating my friends and I was trying to save myself and still help my friends). This morning I was almost back to normal so all was good.
Well for dinner I grilled some chicken breast and thought I would try and eat one (it is in the diet phase I'm in). I got several bits down and all of a sudden I had some sharp pain in my chest. It felt like I swallowed a knife. I ran to the bathroom and spent the next 45 min. throwing up. OMG it hurt so bad. It's been about 2 hours since I moved to the couch and all is going well so far.
I know I just got comfortable and tried to jump ahead faster than I should have. And I paid the price. Trust me I will be careful from now on.

Back at work :)

Today was my first day back at work and it went fantastic. I'm a hairstylist so I stand for hours at a time and I was a bit worried about that but it went fantastic. I had my clients books so that I would have about a 15 min. gap between each one so I would have time to catch my breath. I got to the salon almost an hour early so I would have time to get set up and when I walked in there was 4 large vases of flowers on my station. Wow, I guess they really did miss me. I know I sure did miss them.
I feel so much better this week compared to the last two. There are even times that I catch myself forgetting about the surgery all together, I feel so normal.
I cooked dinner for the family and I tried to eat a piece of chicken with them. I did finish, but it sure did hurt. I pan fried the chicken in water with no breading and I think maybe I should have steamed it or boiled (poached) it. Oh well, I'll keep trying.

50lbs even

I stepped on the scale this morning to a great surprise. I've lost 50lbs since April 1st. I am SO excited about this milestone. It really makes me feel good.
I start back to work tomorrow and man am I ready. Just the last 2 days I've had a major energy breakthru and now I'm bored. I really think it has to do with moving up to the next food stage. I'm now in the soft food stage now and there's more choices. I can have scrambled eggs (even with a small amount of cheese). I no longer have to put my chicken or tuna salad in the blender. I just have to chew it to a mush, but it's nice to have some texture in my mouth.
To think that I'm only 3 weeks out from surgery and I feel so different already. I can feel a big difference just around the house, like when I go up and down the stairs or just doing things around the house.

Food TV

I'm doing/feeling great. I'm up to walking a mile aday and tomorrow will try walking a mile twice a day. The plan was to be walking 2 miles a day by time time I went back to work. I go back to work next week Wednesday.
I'm very shocked at how much I think about food. It's not cravings or urges to eat food, but I still think about food nonstop. Again, I'm not thinking about what I missing or craving.
We still watch Food TV more than any channel. Even when I'm reading my book, Food TV is on in the back ground. Since I'm home full time now I've been cooking dinner for the family everynight. I'm not tempted at all and I really enjoy doing nice things for my family and I do set with them and eat my pureed tuna while they eat.

Well, I had to get off the couch today and be productive. My kid had a couple of doctors apts so cleaned myself up and set off to get things done.
I thought my driving was pretty good but the family informed me that I should prob. stay close to home for a few more days. We'll see.
I just can't tell you have good I feel. Still no pain and really not even any discomfort. I still don't have enough energy to go back to work but if I worked a desk job I really think I could do it. I have a week and a half to go though before I can go back (doctors orders).
Today I had chicken salad for dinner and tuna salad for lunch. Both were fantastic and I was full after about 3 tablespoons full.
The weather here has been nice temps but rainy so not much happening outside. I've been putting my Netflix subscription to the limits.

next phase

I just got home from the doctor and the last of my tubes removed. I have a bit of an infection at 3 of my cut sites and was put on meds for that. I don't think it's anything to big.
I am down 45lbs today from 3 weeks ago. Very cool. I won't in any way say it's been a hard week (it was WAY easier that I thought it would be), but I can tell I'm getting tired of being tired. I know all I need is time and I do have time. I've been doing my daily walk around the block and started cooking dinner for the family. I haven't taken anything for pain in several days now and I have to say I'm amazed that physically I feel good. My only complaint is that I have no energy.
I have been able to do more ready and computer play though. ha ha

I'm home...

I had my weightloss surgery at 11am this past Monday morning and after 3 days in the hospital I cam back home yesterday evening. I will say that I'm in a bit more pain that I was expecting, but that is what the pain pill are for. I came home with a bottle of Perkaset and a Morphine pump that went straight into my stomach and a fairly large drain tube in the stomach also. I just tool out the morphine pump myself about an hour ago (it was kind of cool, it just slid out with out any feeling at all. There's still a small hole though were it came out).
I'm on a Bariatric phase 2 diet (liquids that can go thru a strainer). I got up at 5;30am this morning (I am having a very hard time sleeping for any lenght of time) and had about 3 teaspoons of sugar free yogurt and my stomach felt very distended. I laid back down until 10am and then got up and had a 5 oz protein shake. Then for lunch I had 5 ozs of chicken broth with protein powder added. Tried to set out on the patio for awhile (can't concentrate enough to read my book yet), made it about an hour an then came back in for an hour nap. Got up and took my first shower since the surgery (yes I was smelly). I set up and was able to read my book for about 45 mins and then ate dinner with the family (I had 2 ozs of yogurt and they had spicy turkey helper).
I go back to the surgeon next Tuesday to check for a gut leak and to have my drain removed. I can start driving then if I'm off the pain pills (I can take one every 4 hours and I've only had one today all day). I still need them more at night but as long as I go easy in the day time my bouts of pain seem to pass fairly fast.
I am so happy to be this far along with the process and can't wait to see how I feel next week.

A New Day has come

My stomach is churning, some from nerves some from hunger. I just can't believe the time has come. In 12 hours I will be laying on the surgeons table and my new life will begin. I have never been a real "time" person and this is the perfect example. I have been complaining for months now about how long this process is taking and now all of a sudden the time is here.
I've lost 20lbs on the pre-surgery diet in the last 2 weeks and I'm ready for the rest to leave me.
My partner and I went to our first "support group" this past week. It is a pre-surgery requirement and I put it off to the last minute because I was kind of dreading it and it turned out to be an amazing thing. The doctor should film a group session and use it as part of this recruiting. The group opened with all the post-ops going around the room saying their name, how long ago they had their surgery and the total amount of weight they have lost. One lady had lost 500lbs and several people had lost 300lbs each. The nurse told us at one point the group had added up how much they had lost total and it was over 1/2 ton. The pre-ops were given 1hour to ask questions of the post-ops and they were very eager to share with us. I just can't describe how inspiring the whole thing was.
My last day at work was Saturday and I don't go back for 3 1/2 weeks. I'm actually more nervous about that than I am about why I'll be off work.

One week to go

I just can't believe that it's down to my last week of waiting. 7 days from now I will see if it was all worth it. I have no doubt it will be. My 1400 calorie diet has been going ok. I've been useing the Lance Armstrong "livestrong" web site and the "dailyplate" to track my calories. And I've gone over 2 put of the last 7 days. So not bad I guess.

18 days and counting

Oh my gosh! I can't believe that its only 18 days until my Weight Loss Surgery. I've been doing paper work out the waz-zoo. My job wants me to go on FMLA (I had planned on just using my vacation), and the last week I'm going to be off of the 3 weeks I'm going to be off work actually qualifies for Short Term Disability so I only have to use 2 week of Vacation pay. NICE!
I've been trying lost of protein shakes and finally settled on the first one I tried. My first case of protein powder came today from Unjury.com. It actually taste pretty good. I also signed up for auto delivery of the many vitamins I will be taking from BiaritricAdvantage.com. They have a pretty good deal if you sign up for auto delivery. So, I'm all set now for the big day.
I have stopped eating red meat and started drinking a protein shake a day. Next Monday I start my 1200 calorie a day diet. We are going to take all my before photo's this weekend and do my before measurements. I'm actually not looking forward to either of those.

Test

I'm testing a new application on my iPhone that is supposed to let me post to my blog from my phone.

Finally I have a date!

What a busy weekend on the phone I've had, but it's paid off and now I have a date for my Weight Loss Surgery. I'll spare you all the phone drama but will share the date with you.
The first day of my new life is: April 20th. I'll be the second surgery of the morning for the surgeon. I figure that the surgeon can get into his groove on the first person and really be ready to work by the time he gets to me.
I am so excited to start my new life. I hope to have more energy just in time for some fun summer fun. I've been trying to walk the new puppy around the block a few times a week. I enjoy the fresh air alot and she loves getting out of the yard.
I hope to be posting a fair amount leading up to the day of surgery. I will use this blog as my journal and plan on getting all my concerns and dreams for my new life down so I can always look back at the life I felt traped in for so many years.

A huge step closer

When I got home tonight from work I had the best gift I've received in a LONG time. It was my approval letter for my Weight Loss Surgery from my Health Care Provider. I just can't tell you what a huge stress relief this is for me. I'll call the surgeon's office first thing in the morning and see when I can get on the books for the big day.

President Obama please stimulate me!

I got my pay stub today and was shocked to see that it was 1/2 of what it normally is. I work on straight commission (which I love, since I LOVE my job and have been the top "producer" in my group for at least the last 8 years. I had noticed that over the last few months I seemed to not be as busy as I used to be but really didn't think it would add up to my paycheck being half of it's normal. Right away I ask my manager to set down with me and go over my "numbers". She pulled my monthly numbers for all of '07, '08 and this year to date. And sure as shit starting about last year Sept. I've had a steady but slow decline of about 15 clients less per month. And for the current month of Feb. I'm only at half the amount of clients I had in Feb. of last year. I will start tracking individual clients now and see just who I'm not seeing.
I got a phone call from the surgeon's office yesterday saying that my health insurance wanted a 5 year date and weight. So I called my doctor and had it faxed over right away. This is the 4 week since my meeting with the surgeon and he said I should hear yea or nea withing about 4 weeks. Of course I'm thinking no news is bad news :((((
Our new puppy Lucy was spayed yesterday and she is doing fantastic. We actually had to put her in her crate this evening because she just wouldn't stop playing with one of the other dogs. The vet called today to remind us to keep her calm and NO playing even if she feels like it.
Anyway other than the money stuff, life is really going well. I'm SO ready for spring, please hurry up!

Thumbs up from the surgeon!

I was at the surgeons off for just over 3 hours yesterday afternoon. First I met with the Fellow (who also does some of the follow up plastic surgery), then the surgery nurse and FINALLY the surgeon. It was a great visit with all 3. They were impressed with the amount of knowledge I had about the whole process. :))))
So, now the surgeon will send a letter to my insurance company and then they'll call me to get it schedule. He thought I should hear from his nurse with in about 4 weeks and hopefully be on track to have the surgery no later than April. This of course makes me VERY happy, since this is what I've been working on for a long time.

Agnes interviews her exacutioner

So we have been thinking about adding yet another member to our family for several months now. So after hours online and talking to my "friends in the know" we narrowed our options down to a Standard Poodle. I contacted the AKC and was finally put in touch with local breeder. We did 3 interviews with the breeder (2 phone and 1 at her home) and it was time for a home visit at our home. Now, we had told the breeder about the 2 dogs we already have but that was all we told her about.
The dog we are looking at is a 6 month old extra large brown female named Lucy.
This past Sunday Lucy came over for her first visit with our WHOLE family. So in prepreation for the visit we brought Agnes in the house that morning and let her take a bath in the kids bathtub (she just loves it when we fill up the tub with warm water and let her swim). Usually for the first hour or so she's in the house she does some major pooping and then tapers off and is good for a few hours. She is actually diaper trained but she "puts out so much the diaper can't hold it all". So after her bath we put her in the "pet room" with a portable heater until she drys. Just has she's coming out of the tub Lucy shows up for her visit. It went fantastic with our other 2 dogs and the kids. We were all sitting at the kitchen table with the breeder facing the "pet room" and after about an hour the breeder happens to notice Agnes poking her bill thru the pet gate. Very calmly the breeder says "Now boys! You didn't mention that you have a duck . You do know that Standard Poodles are WATER RETRIEVERS????? Just how attached are you to that duck?" Then she sat there staring at us somewhat gasping. It was SO funny!
I told her that I had done my homework and had talked to 2 different large poodle owners who lived on farms and had had no issues with the Poodles getting along with every one. I felt that since Agnes is in no way afraid of the dogs and would not run from them under any circumstance (the dogs are retrievers not killers) we were up to trying it. So the breeder says " Well let the damn duck out and lets get this over with!"
So we opened the gate to the room and Agnes RAN over to Lucy and bit her on the nose. Lucy let out a small yelp and backed way off. Then Lucy laided down about 5 feet from Agnes and just couldn't stop staring at her. But never got close again. Agnes went over to the back door and pecked to go out. It was VERY funny and was all over with just like that. Before Lucy left we let her go out to the back yard for a potty break and she looked at Agnes (and the 2 chickens) but showed zero interest.
We bring Lucy home for good tonight. Keep us in your prayers!

juicing

Well it's only 2 more days until my consultation with my bariatric surgeon and I'm SO ready. I've been doing some reading on how to get back to work ASAP after the surgery and came across a blog about Juicing and the amazing vitamin punch it packs. So I jumped on Jack LaLanne's web site and ordered a Power Juicer Pro. The next day I got a mailer from Macy's with a listing of Juicers so I cancelled my LaLanne and ran to Macy's (why wait for Jack to ship to me when I live 20 minutes from Macy's)? And the sales lady said I had 6 months to bring it back if I changed my mind.

I bought the Breville Juice Fountain Plus (same price as the LaLanne) and hit the closest produce isle on my way home and dropped another $40.

My first juice cocktail was:

• 2 beets


• 1 orange


• 4 carrots


• 1 kiwi

It was actually pretty good, next time I may put alittle salt in it though. Every thing went fine, I got down about 12 ozs pretty fast. BUT, about 2 hours later I'm in the car on the way to meet a friend and out of nowhere my stomach is in knots and I'm in a panic for a bathroom. I pull into a Taco Bell and as I step out of the car to make a run for it I SHART (half shit and half fart). Oh my god, the cramps are terrible. I make it to the bathroom and thank heaven's it's a private john and I can lock the door.

15 minutes later, I'm cleaned up and sacrificed a brand new pair of boxers. The cramps are over just like that. Now I'm heading back home to recover and by the time I get home I'm ready for the bathroom again.

Next day, all is well (although did I mention that my urine is DARK orange/yellow? GROSS!

I go back to the blog that turned me onto juicing to begin with and see a note about Beets. Go easy it says, they are very strong. RIGHT

I decide to try it again last night for dinner and this time I try:

• 1 beet


• 3 oranges


• 1 cucumber


• 6 carrots


• 1 head of celery


• 1 kiwi


• 1 tsp salt

It taste great! I even get my son to drink a glass. The cookbook that came with the juicer also had recipes for the pulp that is the juicer by-product. So I used it to make a meat-loaf for dinner. It was 1 part pulp with 2 parts ground beef, egg, milk and spices. It was fantastic and will be the only way I make meat-loaf from now on (alright, I don't make that dish very often but when I do this is the way I'll do it). And best of all zero bathroom issues.

So I think I'll be juicing for a while. I am really excited about seeing if I can feel a difference anytime soon.

What a weekend - Sunday

I got to sleep in very late today and it was SO nice. I got up about 10am and decided to catch a noon movie - Defiance. What a choice after finishing The Reader. This movie was really amazing and is really not getting the attention it should be. To think that this group of brothers saved 1200 Jews by hiding them in the woods. I love the part where the guys is saying to God "we don't want to be your choosing one any more. Pick someone else".
This is a great movie to see and is a true testament to Faith.

What a weekend - Saturday

I really enjoyed my extra day off yesterday but now back to work.
So today I'm at lunch with a client who is telling my about her "online dating saga". She had been chatting with some dude who "looked ok but not hot" for a while and when she talked to him on the phone she really liked his voice so they decided to meet. She gets to the restaurant first and is waiting at the bar for him. And she says when he walks in he is HUGE (now as she's telling this story she is looking down and picking at her plate. BUT - has she says the word HUGE she slowly looks up at me and then down to my belly and quicker than shit starts back tracking). She says "not that I have anything against fat, I mean heavy or overweight people. Honest, I'm not that shallow (yes, she actually said she's not that shallow). But he said in his profile that he likes to ski, long walks and ride bikes and there is no way someone that heavy could do those things".
I know how people feel about fat people (trust me your no harder on me than I am on myself), but how big of an idiot do you have to be to say those things to another fat person.

I got home alittle late but still had time for a glass of wine before meeting friends for dinner. We had a fantastic time on our date night (we try to get out once a week without the kids). So we went out to a local Italian restaurant for food, drinks and lots of kampy boy talk.
Was home by 10pm and hit my lazyboy to finish a book I was reading. The Reader by Bernhard Schlink. I've been on a kick of reading books that are current movies or tv shows.
This book was really something and I consider a must read. It spends so much time getting you to hate one of the leads but then BAM all of a sudden you are crying over it.
It really is a great book.

What a weekend - Friday

I'm setting here watching the SAG awards wishing I had brought in more wood for the fireplace before the snow hit.
I had a GREAT weekend and I'll start at the beginning.
Friday - I took the day off work to work in my potting shed. I've been trying to get the converted over to a growing shed and I realize that it will be another project that just never ends. I have a largish wooden shed in the back yard this is only a few years old and very solid. It has no windows but does have 2 south facing sky lights. I spent about $100 insulating 70% of the shed and ran out of insulation so I'm trying to bring it up to a temp of 60F (if possible then I won't bother insulating the remaining 30%. If I can't then another trip to Home Depot. I've got 2 125W heat bulbs and the temp only got about 10F higher than the outside temp., so last night I put an electric oil filled heater in and this morning the temp was up to 55F. So looks like I'm off to a good start. I've got full spectrum lighting over my 3 seed trays and have them setting on a tray heater that is supposed to raise the soil temp another 10 to 20 decree's above the air temp. If all works as planned I should have sprouting seeds by the end of this week or next week at the latest. I've started a couple different types of tomatoes, peppers and lots of different herbs and flowers. I have room for 1 more starter tray that I will start soon.

Amazon Kindle

Disclaimer: this is in no way a sale pitch for Amazon. It's solely a testimonial for the Kindle from a guy who loves to read.

I want to talk a bit about how much the Amazon Kindle has made my life better. This thing is just amazing. If you've had the pleasure of playing with one it's easy to see why Oprah picked it has her favorite new thing of 2008. If your a big reader then the Kindle is a must have.

I've been an avid reader for most of my adult life, reading 1 to 2 books a month. Since getting the Kindle in May of '08, I'm reading 2 books a week. I'm never with out a book to read and almost always have my next book purchased and downloaded. People are always telling me about a great book they read and recommending that I read it. With the Kindle, when ever someone recommends a book to me I right away turn it on and to to Amazon (right from the Kindle) and buy and download the book. In the old days I would try and right the name down and look for it later (often forgetting). It's just so amazing.

So far the only draw back I have encountered is that you can not share a book with a friend. I do miss passing on books to others but even with that said I can say that I have stacks of books setting around the house that for what ever reason just never got passed on..

Let me list a few of my fave things about the Kindle:

• It feels just like reading a regular book (many times I've caught myself reaching up to turn the page).


• Zero to little eye strain. Nothing like reading on your computer


• Stores hundreds of books (thousands with a $15 media card), so I'm NEVER without a book to read.


• Amazing search features. You can search all the books on your Kindle for something you remember reading about earlier. You can search the internet.


• Built in dictionary, you just highlight the line your reading and with one click get fast definitions for the words in that sentence.


• You can highlight a single word or several sentence's, clip and save along with any notes you wish to make. Great ideal for book club members or students.

This is just a few of the great things about the Kindle. I can't wait to hear from others with one.

Our little farm in the city

I grew up in a very rural area about 3 hours away from Memphis (the closest city). I left that hell hole as soon as I got out of high school. I couldn't wait to get out of that place and on to a place that was either big enough for me to be anonymous or big and diverse enough for me to blend in. Well, I've been in the city for just over 20 years and now I dream of being on a farm (although, not in Deliverance). So, a safe alternative is that I have a small farm right in the middle of the city. I really do live in a very urban setting, you have to drive at least an hour to get out to a farm setting. If I tried to pee off my back porch I would hit the neighbors to houses down. That's how close we are to each other.
So about 3 years ago my partner came home from a local farmers market with a 3 day old baby chicken. We named her Peep and she grew up in our home for the first several months of her life. We quickly added a small flock of more chicks, guineas, and a couple of ducks. Well, three years later we still have Peep (Bantam mix), Chicketta (a standard Blue Cochin) and Agnes (a Muscovy duck). All three females and we get 3 eggs aday. We really aren't big egg eaters so we pass them on to the neighbors. These girls really bring so much excitement to my family's lives. Agnes meets me at the gate EVERY day after work and walks me to the back door. If I don't reach down and scratch her breast she bites my ankles. Over the course of the day each of the girls will at some point be at the back door pecking on the glass wanting in. We almost always give in and let them in to roam around for a bit and then they go back to the door wanting out. Our dogs share their water bowl with them with little drama. When you open the fridge you have 2 chickens, 1 duck and 2 dogs begging. We also have a large Macaw and an African Grey. The parrots love the dogs and the dogs love the chickens and the duck but the parrots HATE the chickens and the duck and the chickens and the duck know it.
The weather have been VERY cold here this past week and the neighbors have been calling to make sure the chickens (and duck) are alright. Yesterday morning I went out to check on them and all three were still in their house (it has a heat lamp) and couldn't be coaxed out with scratch.
I'm sure I'll be writing more about the pets as this blog goes on, they really are a major highlight of our life.

Let the Fat man vent!

Let me list a few things that SUCK about being FAT!

• Clothes - there is ONE store where I can buy clothes. Let me correct that, there is one store where I chose to buy my clothes. There are actually several Big & Tall clothing stores in my town but they either sell cloths for young Hip Hop folks or clothes for old fat white golfers. I am a white guy (not ready to say "old"), but not into golf and kids point and laugh if I wear Sean John stuff.
• Getting dressed - If at all possible I just don't wear socks or shoes that tie. It takes me about 10 minutes just to put on my socks and shoes and worse than that I'm out of breath for about 15 minutes after. Putting on my socks honest to god is a huge effort. I own clogs in several colors and styles because they are SO easy to step into. The shoes and socks are really the biggest pain for me as a Fat person. Putting on my belt (lifting my belly out of the way) also takes a minute but I do recover sooner.
• Bathroom - You knew this one was coming didn't you? Let just jump right into it - wiping my ass is a HUGE issue sometimes. I fit on the toilet fine, no issues there. But when I finish trying to get my hand back there to clean up is really a problem. Don't worry I never skip it, but sometimes it's just easier to jump in the shower and hose the damn thing out. I may be fat but I am not and hope to never be a "Smelly Fat Person".
• Eating out - I have broken several chairs in restaurants over the last few years and you just can't imagine how humiliating that is. And you NEVER agree to set outside at a restaurant because you know that they are going to have those plastic stacking chairs that will fold up under you as soon as you sit down. I have only landed on the floor twice but those two experiences will last with me for ever.
• Weddings, Theater, etc. - any where that uses folding chairs. You just can't know the feeling you get when you walk into a room and see those damn folding chairs and you know its a gamble. Do I set and pray? Do I ask for something else to set in?
• Flying - you guessed it - I don't fit in the seat and the seat belt doesn't fit me. I have ordered a seat belt extender that I travel with and it's a huge help. I actually had a flight attendant announce over the intercom that the passenger in seat so and so needed an extender on time. Getting the extender to travel with was a large stress reliever, I still don''t fit in the seats but at least only me and the person setting beside me has to know about.

Here we go -

This is the first entry in my blog. The primary reason for this blog is to help me during the process of my weightloss surgery journey. By keeping it anonymous I hoping that I'm able to be completely honest. I first called my surgeon almost 2 years ago and that time I didn't follow thru with the intake packet. I called back last year June and returned the intake packet within 5 days and then spent the next 4 months dueing the required preresquite doctor visits. I'm now 2 weeks out from meeting the actual surgeon. I'm hopeing to have the surgery no later than this
April and only expect to be off work for 3 weeks.
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