Friday, January 16, 2009

Let the Fat man vent!

Let me list a few things that SUCK about being FAT!

  • Clothes - there is ONE store where I can buy clothes. Let me correct that, there is one store where I chose to buy my clothes. There are actually several Big & Tall clothing stores in my town but they either sell cloths for young Hip Hop folks or clothes for old fat white golfers. I am a white guy (not ready to say "old"), but not into golf and kids point and laugh if I wear Sean John stuff.
  • Getting dressed - If at all possible I just don't wear socks or shoes that tie. It takes me about 10 minutes just to put on my socks and shoes and worse than that I'm out of breath for about 15 minutes after. Putting on my socks honest to god is a huge effort. I own clogs in several colors and styles because they are SO easy to step into. The shoes and socks are really the biggest pain for me as a Fat person. Putting on my belt (lifting my belly out of the way) also takes a minute but I do recover sooner.
  • Bathroom - You knew this one was coming didn't you? Let just jump right into it - wiping my ass is a HUGE issue sometimes. I fit on the toilet fine, no issues there. But when I finish trying to get my hand back there to clean up is really a problem. Don't worry I never skip it, but sometimes it's just easier to jump in the shower and hose the damn thing out. I may be fat but I am not and hope to never be a "Smelly Fat Person".
  • Eating out - I have broken several chairs in restaurants over the last few years and you just can't imagine how humiliating that is. And you NEVER agree to set outside at a restaurant because you know that they are going to have those plastic stacking chairs that will fold up under you as soon as you sit down. I have only landed on the floor twice but those two experiences will last with me for ever.
  • Weddings, Theater, etc. - any where that uses folding chairs. You just can't know the feeling you get when you walk into a room and see those damn folding chairs and you know its a gamble. Do I set and pray? Do I ask for something else to set in?
  • Flying - you guessed it - I don't fit in the seat and the seat belt doesn't fit me. I have ordered a seat belt extender that I travel with and it's a huge help. I actually had a flight attendant announce over the intercom that the passenger in seat so and so needed an extender on time. Getting the extender to travel with was a large stress reliever, I still don''t fit in the seats but at least only me and the person setting beside me has to know about.

3 comments:

  1. Fat and Tired. I wish you well. I was once 50 lbs overweight, and while it is nowhere close to what you're going through, losing that weight was very life changing. STAY WITH IT! You will have to battle everyday, but you are capable.

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  2. Hey 437, I wound up here after I saw you visited my blog. You are a man after my heart! Your sense of humor is going to make your gastric by-pass very interesting and I can't wait to read about it. Plus, we have indoor chickens in common. My indoor chicklet is about 2 and a half months old. I'll have to put him out with the others soon, but the snow this week has given me an excuse to put it off. I'm going to add you to my favorites so I won't miss anything. Good luck!
    Anna

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  3. Thanks for stopping by Anna, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
    By the way, why does that chicken have to move outside?

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