molestion the same as RAPE???

My first memory of being molested is when I'm about 5 years old. Wayne had been beating the shit of me and mom so she sneaks me out of the house to spend some time with my Grandma.

while there my Uncle Randy tells me that if I don't "help him out" he will tell my grandma to get rid of me (and then I have to go back to Wayne). So my first memories of Randy is of me giving him a blow job when I'm 5 years old. I have the most painful memories of that asshole. My Grandmother was my favorite person in the whole wide world. She is the only person I have ever know who truly loved me unconditionally and Randy used those feeling to rape me (physically and emotionally). How many times did my mom send me to my grandmothers house thinking she was protecting me only to actually be putting me in more danger!

That continues until I'm at least 10 years old:((

I just want to add to this, many years later when I'm in therapy Randy refuses to admit what he did to me and in fact calls me a spoiled brat who just needs to grow up.

My parents actually believe me but feel that GOD wants me to forgive Randy and welcome him back into my life (like they have). My parents actually feel that I"m the bigger sinner because I can not forgive him and get on with my life. Randy has been acussed of doing the same thing to many people over the years (even his youngest sister and one of his daughters) and I am the only one in the family who hasn't been able to move on. Every year at Christmas and Thanksgiving my mom and I have an argument over whether or not he can be there while I'm there. I even have to make her promise he won't come around my son while he is visiting over the summer.