When will the mirror be my friend?

Let me say up front that I've got a cold and I'm writing under the influence of OTC drugs.
Thinks are going so well. I haven't thrown up in well over a week and aside from the cold I feel AMAZING. I'm loving the gym more and more each time I go. I even enjoy the days that I don't work with Jesse now. And I think I also really enjoy it when people comment on the amount of weight I have lost (there's not a day goes by that someone doesn't comment. It's alot of attention and even though it's positive attention and it's supposed to be a good thing it really can be uncomfortable at times). I don't always feel like I deserve it. I know it's crap and I do deserve it but there's this crappy voice in the back of my mind that say's NO YOU DON'T. It's not that I'm afraid that I'm going to blow it or ruin it in some way. I just find myself really uncomfortable with the whole thing.
There are signs of hope though. I have caught myself looking at myself in the mirror more and more (sometimes even with no clothes on as gross as that is. lol). I still hate the mirrors at the gym and want NO part of them.
I'm weighing in at 297lbs now, that's an unbelievable 140lbs down. It's been years since I've seen these numbers. And my final goal weight is only 60lbs away!
I'm in a wedding this weekend and went today to pick up my tux and had to exchange the pants for a smaller pair. I told the girl last month when she measured me that she was picking a waist that was to large but she informed me that the tape measure doesn't lie:(

City Chicks by Pat Foreman

I was given a signed copy of this book recently by a friend and I'm LOVING it!

I just learned that 1 chick and eat 84lbs of kitchen and yard was every year. Times 3 (we have 2 chickens and 1 duck) is: 252lbs of stuff that would go into a landfill. WOW! Now I just have to figure out a way for the chickens to get it and not my dogs.

Well off to more reading.

whole lota jiggle

Jesse gave me a tip on how to start running so I gave it a try today on the treadmill. I jog for the first 30seconds of each 5 minute block (jog for 30 sec then walk for 4 1/2 mins). I made a mistake right off the bat, I started off with my jog and the 30 sec. mark came around and I felt great so I just kept on going. I hit the 1 minute mark at 5.5 and then slowed down to 4.0. Then second round I jogged for 45 seconds and then I stuck to the 30 second recomended time. I did this for 5 rounds and then just walked for 15 more minutes. At one point I grabbed onto the heartrate bar and my heartrate was at 157 (that was after my 1minute jog). My heart was pounding and it felt GOOD! We'll see if I keep this up or not, it was a site to behold. My 315lb butt actually trying to get both feet off the ground at the same time (you see if both feet don't leave the ground at the same time it's just a fast walk. lol).

It actually gets better and better

I'm somewhat shocked how how different I feel since I'm off the meds. I can really tell a huge difference while at the gym. It's really nice to be able to work out until my body gives out (which still doesn't take long), instead of all that damn dizzyness crap.

I've been able to replace most of my gym clothes already, that is a great feeling. Jesse had me facing the mirror the other day doing shoulder presses and I was somewhat grossed out by how flabby and sloppy I was looking. So off to GoodWill I went and donated the last of my 4X and 3X tee shirts. I'm all 2X now:)
I can't remember if I mentioned that I bought a bike or not. One with a wide seat of course:))
I've taken it around the block a few times and it is a nice break and a chance for fresh air. I'm afraid to get to far from the house just yet in case I pop the tires and have to push it home. Sad but true!

great news

I went to see my Primary Care Doc today for a check up. I hadn't seen him since the surgery and was a bit excited for him to see my progress. He was really the one who was able to get me to admit that I needed the surgery and was not going to be able to loose the weight and keep it off on my own. So I was really excited for him to see that I had finally done something to help myself. Anyway, I made the appointment because I have been having shorts bouts of dizziness when I'm at the gym and I'm thinking that my blood pressure meds are a bit high for my weight now that I've lost 1oo plus lbs. Well it turns out that my heart rate is way down not my blood pressure. So he took me off all my meds. This is huge progress, I have been on 5 pills a day for several years and now I'm on ZERO pills a day. Although I now take 5 vitamins a day, but that is different. lol

Wii Fit is my new BFF!

123lbs down and all is well. Well, that's a big FAT lie: life is GREAT. I bought the Wii Fit the day it came out (May '08) and when I got it home and opened the box was VERY sad to read that I was well over the weight limit (117lbs over to be exact). It was just another hit to the fat man, just another thing in life where the fat man has to sit on the side line (or is it: another excuse for the fat man to sit on the side line). Well for the last year I've been able to sit on the couch and watch my family and friends play the game while I make excuses why I can't get on it (can't say out loud that I'm really THAT fat).
My first goal for myself after WLS was to be able to finally play the Wii Fit and last week I was able to get on the damn thing and not have it go crazy and shut down and reboot. It felt so wonderful to actually have it say Welcome! I was able to create a profile and have signed on almost everyday since. It even said my Wii Fit age is 3 years younger than my real age.
I'm still working out 4 days a week at the gym, 2 of those days with a personal trainer. I still have trouble believing how different I feel. There are times when I actually find myself dancing around I have so much energy that I can't stand still. I don't want to stand still and I have the energy to actually move around for long periods of time. The trainer is still whooping my ass but I feel great for the rest of the day (sore but great). If this is what 100lbs less feels like, what is 200lbs less going to feel like???

Stupid Questions?

I get lot's and lot's of comments now a days. I guess at my weight range I had to lose 100lbs before people (those who didn't know about the surgery) really start to notice. Here's the lamest one yet:
Saturday in the salon a lady came up to me and said how much different I look since she saw me last and just had to ask a few questions about it. I told her I had Gastric Bypass surgery at the end of April. She said she knew someone who had that done also but hers didn't go so well, she thought the lady had it done in a small town a couple of hours outside of the city where we live. This lady really just hit me the wrong way (like she was gossiping about the lady she knew) so I just went right in lieing mode. I told her I also had my surgery done at that town at the Vet college that is there. I told her they do an experimental surgery that is having HUGE success. I said that they take one of the stomach's from a cow, since they have 2 they don't even have to kill the cow. I said there's an enzyme in the cows stomach that process' food so fast that you don't absorb the calories from the food. She said that sound so cool, how do I feel? I said that I get alittle sick to my stomach every now and then but if I chew on raw grass (organic of course) it really seems to settle the nausea. She just kept going on and on about how cool it is.
I finally told her I'm totally full of shit and she was really embarrassed for falling for it.